Befriending The Gremlin: Your Inner Critic & You
What makes you think you can write a book? Your own show – are you kidding?! Phht!!
You’ve heard this kind of derisive commentary. Not from others – from inside your own mind. It’s inevitable. When you take action toward your dreams, your fears and the voice of your inner critic expand in proportion to your passion.
The inner critic – or gremlin, as coaches call it – presents very convincing arguments. So convincing that you may believe its negativity and squelch your creativity as a result of its haranguing. To be a successful creative, you need to master this negative voice.
Gremlin wrestling is the first order of business with my clients. They’re always surprised that after years of ineffectual battle with the critic, the best defense against the gremlin is to befriend it.
That Jerk = My Friend?
I know. It seems odd to buddy up with the bully that has belittled you for years. But this simple approach to living with your inner critic can empower you to reach your creative goals with less struggle. Here’s how.
Isolate your gremlin. Pay attention to it as a distinct part of you. On a daily basis, notice what it says, the language it uses, and what provokes its commentary.
I liken this to inviting your gremlin out from the wings onstage, and giving it the mic. It’s on the scene anyway, might as well give it center stage to better hear what it’s contributing.
Once you’ve separated it as one perspective and not the Truth, get to know it.
Who Is Your Inner Critic?
Write about it. Set a timer for fifteen minutes and do a character sketch as if for a story. Explore your gremlin’s world. Use these prompts:
Get a picture of it. Do a drawing, a painting, perhaps even a song describing your gremlin. Choose whatever medium makes this playful yet meaningful.
What did you learn or notice from doing this exercise? Write down any insights you’ve gotten from this.
Living With This Monster In a New Way
Okay, so now you have a distinct picture of your critic and you’ve probably noticed how entrenched he is in your psyche. How do you wrestle control from this downer? Try these new perspectives.
This part of you is smart, wily, knows your sensitive spots, plus seems to always assert the logical voice of ‘reality’. Best to dispassionately observe its story rather than try to argue that yes, you are a good writer.
When your critical voice pipes up, stay light. Humor helps you dodge the heavy messages your gremlin broadcasts in your mind.
Thank the gremlin. Thank it for its input and keep going. I like to say things like: “Thank you for your input. And while I may be a fat, un-stylish loser, I am still going to the party. And I’m going to have fun.”
These strategies help cope with the gremlin, and the following approach makes a truly lasting impact for my clients.
Befriend Your Gremlin
Your critic now has its own discrete place in your psyche, and you feel a little less dominated by its negativity. Still, it insists on contributing whenever you take a creative risk. Rather than trying to muzzle your gremlin, enroll its help.
Ask your gremlin these questions and write your answers.
Please use these specific questions. A client once tweaked the question (creative people often need to add their own twist!) but didn’t get satisfactory results. I pointed her back to the original questions, and she was amazed at the empowering new perspective she received from her answers.
These exercises might seem simple, or silly, even. But complex problems are often solved by simple solutions. Reduce creative resistance by dropping the struggle with your inner critic. Befriend it instead for more joyful and easy creativity.
For more on managing your inner critic, see Rick Carson’s Taming Your Gremlin.
How does your gremlin bug you? Have you learned to live with him/her/it? Are they your best friend already?! Please share your thoughts and feedback in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Inti.
Cynthia Morris helps writers, artists and entrepreneurs make their brilliant ideas a shining reality. She writes articles, e-books, blogs and is finishing a historical novel set in Paris. Get your creative juju back with Cynthia’s creativity workshops, from her Juju Infusion videos and from her free newsletter, Impulses, all found at Original Impulse.
You speak of harnessing the power of Resistance… as described in Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.” This book has become my creative bible, and is the only one that never finds its way to the bookshelf!
Overcoming Resistance (or your Gremlin) is not easy, but is essential to succeeding in finishing your project. A writer’s job is to write. If the Gremlin gets in the way, writing will not happen… and then what? If you don’t write, are you still a writer?
My Gremlin taunts me constantly. I am a perfectionist. I constantly tell myself not to get bogged down in the minutia and finish my work – and having that book at my disposal sure helps. But once the work is done, I let my Gremlin play and he helps me edit my project to reach perfection.
… PS – these tips are also useful for the nay-saying people in your life. Psychology studies show these to be proper techniques for dealing with all kinds of … Resistance.
Hi, Eric. The concept of resistance is indeed common, and Pressfield has done a great job sharing it with the world.
For me, it’s more helpful to personify this voice, rather than think of it as an abstract concept like ‘resistance’.
I’m glad you’ve enrolled your gremlin as an editor and not a writer. Those are two very different modes and ‘perfectionism’ doesn’t really have a place in the draft phase.
Thanks for writing, and for noting that these strategies are good for naysayers as well!
Keep that gremlin where he belongs.
Excellent posting, Cynthia, and one I really needed to read.
I had befriended my gremlin awhile ago, but the honeymoon is now officially over. Maybe my gremlin and I need couples counseling.
However, after reading your posting, I think I’ll renew my friendship with the gremlin. The problem is that the gremlin is insidious, and I feel I can’t trust it. But the truth is, I think it’s trying to stop me from writing because it’s afraid that I will fail at my book and it’s afraid that I will succeed.
So then I become stagnant. However, I’m more determined than ever to keep writing.
Thank you for a wonderful posting!
Well, I thought I knew my Gremlin quite well, but your post has made me reconsider that Cynthia. Interesting way to look at this little devil. I’ll definitely be interviewing him now and can’t wait to discover what he, she, or it is really like.
I used to be on the verge of OCD perfectionism, (and still am in some ways), but thankfully in the past year or so I’ve had the strength to ignore the urge to edit as I write – it used to be so bad I couldn’t move on to the next sentence without reading, and most of the time rewriting, the previous one. Thank goodness those days are waning for I’m enjoying my writing time much more now.
Thanks for a great post!
Thanks for a great article, Cynthia. I started reading this and had a flashback of my career. I am retired now, but was a social worker/counselor. I ran many groups and did a little one on one counseling. One of the techniques I often used was called “correcting your self-talk”. I did this on myself long before I tried it with clients. It’s pretty much the same thing you are talking about with the gremlins. I always encouraged my clients to look in the mirror and challange these negative statements that the inner man was using to discourage you from doing the things you really wanted to do with your life. “You can’t do that; you’re too stupid.” “You’re fat and ugly and no one will ever want you.” “What makes you think anyone will ever want to read anything you write?” Look in the mirror and replace these with positive statements. “You are a well educated woman/man. Anyone who can’t see that is crazy.” “I am beautiful in all ways, because I am a creation of a good and loving God.” “What I have written is good. Friends have read it and say it’s good; even my sister and she’s hard to please. I know that this is going to be well received.”
If we put that critical inner man in his/her place and go forward not fearing failure we’ll be fine. After all, even a rejection letter is a step closer to being accepted.
EXCELLENT ADVICE!!!
Beth,
Thank you! I’m glad this post resonated with you. I think it’s a unique way to interact with this part of us that we normally experience as hostile.
I’m all for working together instead of struggling against.
Do the exercise – actually write out your answers, and since you’re an artist, too, go for the visual depiction. (Though you don’t have to be an artist to draw the gremlin!)
Your book will get done with or without the gremlin’s help, but might as well get it on board.
Thanks for your comment!
Deanna,
Definitely try the exercise. I was surprised when I first did this. It completely changed the way I saw resistance and fear.
I’m glad you’re having more fun writing. One thing you may want to try is to identify how each role feels. What do you love/enjoy about the writing part of the process? What do you relish about editing?
That way you’re clear about what each phase of the writing process gives you, and you can relish each in turn.
Happy writing!
MJ,
Thanks for sharing that method of gremlin control. I love how courageous it is – looking yourself in the eye and standing up for yourself is a powerful act.
I want to make a clear distinction between your approach and the one I offer here. Replacing the negative talk with positive talk sounds helpful. And it’s still an opposing stance, where you make the gremlin wrong and replace its rhetoric with positive affirmations.
Nothing wrong with that at all.
I’ve found that trying to argue with the voice, make it wrong and banish it doesn’t have as much impact as seeking understanding.
I prefer an alliance that acknowledges that this part of us may actually have something valuable to offer.
I’m with you on not fearing failure. I like to say, If you’re not failing, you’re not reaching far enough.
But try the exercise and see what impact it has on you. I’m curious to know!
Thanks again for commenting, and keep writing!
I think the different circumstances comes into play here. My clients were either physically, sexually or emotionally abused. For the most part they had been told these negative things by their abusers and then in turn told them to themselves. They needed to banish these gremlins. I can see where you are coming from about making friends with your gremlin. I don’t know how well I can do it; simply because I am so used to the other. Still, it is a great technique, no matter which direction each person needs to take it personally.
I will try the exercise and see if I can do it. Sometimes it’s hard to change the way you’ve always done things — but this old dog has learned lots of new tricks, maybe this will be another one. ;)
Every time my gremlin shows up, (his name is Desmond by the way), I recognize he is trying to keep me safe. His version of safety is perfectionism, self doubt, and mostly fear of failure. The more I am aware of Desmond in the moment, I am able to ask myself, ok, what am I really afraid of? What is he trying to keep me “safe” from?
The more I can recognize this in the moment of creating, the more I am able to face it head on and make a decision of how to handle him. Sometimes I choose to give in but more and more I recognize when I hear this voice, it’s up to me to directly counter it by staying in the process.
So for me, I am building a relationship with my gremlin. I recently “created” him in 3D and now can turn to him when that voice comes through and say, “Why Desmond, there you are. What do you want to keep me safe from?” I then can separate him from myself and recognize that talking directly to him takes away some of the power and gives it back to me.
Sounds goofy, but it works for me at least.
Hi everybody! I’ll start off by saying I have a very bad Gremlin and he has a brother, but they don’t keep me from writing; they affect me differently. They affect me when it comes to sharing my stories or other material. Writing comes easy for me and so does creativity. Creativity to me is almost like breathing–I have been creative even before I started walking (parents help with that perspective), or as far back as I can remember. Recap: it doesn’t stop me from writing; it stops me from sharing. In other words, this could be why some brilliant writers never publish. They can write all day long without any hindrances exept for an occasioal block. This will be a story and a long post so forgive me, but if it helps someone it’s worth it.
How so? Well, I’ll say I began my writing career early. I have always loved creative writing since elementary school. I wrote short stories and small poems for assignments, but I didn’t do too much on my own, but I loved the creative rush, and I get that rush when I draw too. At sweet sixteen I decided to do an expirament on myself to see if I could write a full length novel–I wanted to challenge myself and find a means to come back to my childhood fantasy world because pretend adventures and toys were unacceptable for my age. I succeeded and not only did I succeed that goal, other books seemed to pop up everywhere. As the saga was born, so was the Gremlin; his brother comes later. Let me show you just how mean he is. He is mostly invisible or just a black void except for his caustic voice.
After two or three books had dawned in about two years, he began to say, “You are a child writing books–a CHILD! No one will want to read a book written by a kid! You’ll make a mockery of yourself if someone sees this. Above all, you had no teachers and you taught yourself! If I were you I would keep this to myself. You’re doomed if someone sees this–what would they say?” So I did keep it to myself and never discussed it. I didn’t tell anyone about me writing. My parents knew because the computer was in their bedroom and I kept them up in the wee hours pounding on the keys and refusing to go to bed. I got the same rush writing as I did playing an exciting video game. Sometimes I could stay up in the wee hours whipping a video game too. Mom and dad started peeking and so did my grandmother. A leak had sprung about a young writer and her stories and it seemed to spread like wildfire. People at church began to talk about it after my parents told. Computer repair guys found the stories and read them after they fixed the computer after it went kaput. The computer was decrepit anyway, but it was all I had then. Everyone began to talk about publishing. “How do I do that?” I scream within. “Huh, good luck with that!” snorted the Gremlin. “They just say that because they love you and are family.” My eight year old cousin said, “That would be cool if it ever became a movie!” she exclaimed. The Gremlin laughs. “Yeah right, keep dreaming on that! A producer wouldn’t touch your crap with a 10 foot pole!” I was skeptical on that too without his two cents worth (and still am), and that’s not the reason why I decided to publish in the first place; it was only to share.
At age 21 I go to a writing conference with someone at church who was also an aspiring writer. “Go at your own risk! Take the stuff she told you to take, but I wouldn’t open my mouth about those dumb stories if I were you,” he said. “I’m coming along so you don’t embarass yourself.” I did go and I was the youngest person at the conference. “What are you doing here? I told you not to go! You don’t belong here…see? Everyone is thrirty five and older! They are going to think you are an amateur and eat you for lunch–of course you’re an amateur, you just now can drink. 21 year olds go and party; they don’t write books! You’re odd you know?! Must I remind you that you taught yourself? You are from the middle of nowhere–people can’t even find where you came from on a map! You lived in the WOODS of all places and your friends are just bugs, worms, snakes, and lizards! They’ll think your characters are dumb and your stories are stupid–I don’t even know why you brought those dumb character sketches–,” The rant continues. I somehow ignored him and began talking to people. I talked to Dr. Dennis Hensley, a pretty well known author, at one of the personal chats they had. The Gremlin and I had a personal chat with him. “Don’t tell him about those dumb stories,” said the Gremlin. I ignored the Gremlin and impressed this man. I didn’t expect that. Dr. Hensley asked how old I was because I looked like just a baby, and he couldn’t believe such ideas came from such a young person, and I had told him I had written this book five years ago at 16. I attended one of his workshops and came up with a story idea on the cuff which impressed him; he saw me there and definately wanted to hear my idea because I was the youngest and this was after the chat. The Gremlin was silent a while, but now he introduced his brother, the Evil Book Editor, as I now learned about publishing and how it was done.
The authors there talked about how book editors treat a manuscript, and it is not with TLC. The authors there said editors are mean and rip up manuscripts (not trying insult any editors out there). I compared them to the horrible English professors at college; high school teachers talked about how mean their English professors were so I was afraid of them and college for a while. That made me hesitate on going to college. These evil professors were rumored to be at UGA, and ironically that’s where I went to college and graduated with high honors, but anyway… “They’ll give you an F if one period or comma is out of place or forgotten after you had spend days on your paper!” they would say. No joke or exaggeration here…I wished I could have recorded it to prove it, and it was really said. Come to find out there is now someone even worse than any college English professor who handles pieces of literature, and I still hear this now from other authors who publish traditionally. This made me hesitant to publish or try.
The Evil Book Editor, the Gremlin’s brother, is about 500 years old, no teeth, thick glasses which is much larger than his beady, squinty eyes. His pointed chin nearly touches his hooked nose, and he has an evil cackle. He always has a machete or an ax in one hand as he picks up manuscripts and chops them up. Even though he is so old and thin, he can chop them up with amazing speed and even thick ones don’t stand a chance against his blade. He beckons me with that bony hand and dares me to submit. “Come on, whippersnapper, I dare ya to just try it! I’ll be waiting!” he would say and then put his machete to the grindstone in readiness for me. I brave the devils and try to submit to publishers. I don’t make it, and they taunt me. The Gremlin laughs and send me caustic comments and put-downs, and I see the Evil Book Editor going to town on my manuscript. My tattered manuscript and dream floats to the floor like contetti as he cackles madly. Sadly I put it away and go to college, and I want to make an attempt after college.
In college I honed my skills as I wrote lab reports, term papers, and other creative stuff, and I did have to deal with one evil English professor, and she seemed like she meant to single me out for some reason. She didn’t like me for some odd reason and deliberately gave me lower grades than everyone else. We students compared grades and talked about the professor outside of class. None of us liked her, and he didn’t really try to boost the morale of the class either. English wasn’t like trig or chemistry where there was clearly a right or wrong answer and a clear procedure to follow to get that answer. She could give me the grade she wanted because it was a subjective course what could be right to me would be wrong to her. That fear/tall tale was made real; I had my evil English professor, but the rest of my college experience was grand. I get out and I publish–finally, but the first experience was crappy, but I found a better one the following year, and of course the brothers were there to ‘help’ me out with my defeat. I find editors who treated my work with care and made it better than ever with my second publisher. I am beginning to share, but the evil brothers are still there sometimes taunting me when I now try to send to reviewers or do interviews. They put me down about my life story just as much as my work.
I had a powwow with them just recently. I was asked by self publishing expert Mark Levine to write something for him off the cuff. We met under grim circumstances which he helped me through and we became friends (different story). I wrote this piece for him, wrote my email to him, and attached the document. As I move the mouse to the send button and sigh a moment the Gremlin says, “Don’t you push that send button! You can’t impress Mark Levine! You’re wasting your time. He is not so easily impressed by ANYONE…least of all a pissant like you! You got duped by a big box publisher and he helped you out and now you have only been going strong for three months in marketing–what the heck do you know? He taught you everything you know so how can you possibly teach him anything, impress him, or help anyone else like he can?” The Book Editor just cackles and menaces me with that dreadful machete. I push the send button and wait. Mark’s response was the total opposite of what the Gremlin said and he wrote a very generous blog article on me which I didn’t expect either. He wanted to make this piece available to people and wanted to work with me in a project. He saw something more in it than I did or ever could have. I am excited and I jump in with both feet. The small piece will be published later this year and I am now writing articles for websites he owns. I am working with fine people and I could possibly help others. That is why I shared this story, and I may even share it again sometime.
Amanda, I had to laugh about how the gremlin told you that you were being a child by wanting to write, or to publish. I’ve certainly had times when that inner voice, or gremiln told me similar things. I guess we’ve all had that happen. I am glad that you were able to ignore your gremlin and keep moving forward. Did you try Cynthia’s technique of befriending your gremlin? I can see how that would work, too.
For me the gremlin more often told me I didn’t have the time to write. I was always either raising kids or grandkids and working a lot to support them by myself. So, I guess I let the gremlin win by setting it all aside — until now. I’m still raising grandkids, but I’m not working and I have all the time in the world. So far, I haven’t heard any flack out of that old gremlin.
MJ, sometimes I feel like my gremlins are almost to destructive or toxic to befriend, but I guess they have made me stronger and made positive feedback mean more to me. I hope destroy them or let their comments hurt me too much. When I met other authors at the conference I felt like a child among such older distinguished people, and I guess I sort of was in the publishing world as I see it. I was hoping my story could make people laugh. I thought the Evil Book Editor would have made you laugh more than the Gremlin calling me a child. To add, the Evil Book Editor sort of reminds me of Eustace off of Courage the Cowardly Dog in his appearance and actions, but with a more learned appearance and air. This devil existed before I saw the first episode of the cartoon BTW.
Amanda,
Thanks for sharing your story! Your writing journey is rich and full – and it continues.
You show how to just keep writing, keep learning, keep going. Stories like what happened with Mark show that you (we) have NO critical distance right after we write something. That’s why I let my drafts settle for a day or so before going in with the red pen.
I’m proud of your persistence; keep writing!
Amanda,
To respond to your comment to MJ – about the toxicity of your gremlin – I can understand that. I also respect you for saying, no, I don’t want toxicity in my life.
And, I urge you to try this exercise. It can be truly revealing and helpful, and can help dissipate some of that toxicity.
I think one of the most powerful things we can do is come to an understanding of an enemy’s perspective. Seeing your gremlin as your enemy, getting his point of view on your terms (asking the questions I suggest above) can give you more power than you can imagine.
Please, do give it a go and let us know what you discover.
Hi Cynthia,
Thanks for the encouraging words. I have already begun that to some extent. This past week as we all were away from this blog, more good tidings are coming my way. More good feedback and positive reassurance. The toxicity of the gremlins are not so toxic anymore as I am now armored by positive reassurances by others I have never met and am meeting. I got to meet someone else over the long weekend and help him decide to publish. A real cool guy from LA, and his email just came from nowhere and we started talking. I am now talking with MJ away from the blog and trying to encourage him to step up to the plate to have his chance at a big league hit into publishing. I am finding out that much of what the brothers say is not true. I know my enemy pretty well and now I am fighting back because now I have a weapon to fight with. He’s been whacked several times this week! I am as much a warrior as the main character from my book. I just had to have light shining in the darkness. Now I just listen to the Gremlin and if it is not true, then I tell him to shut his pie hole. If something bad does happen I shrug and move on and just laugh at him when he starts and threaten him. He doesn’t s say much as he fears he might get whacked. He has turned from a black mamba, one of the deadliest snakes in the world, to a harmless black ratsnake. Both look kind of similar, but a ratsnake bite hurts but it won’t kill you in an hour or less–it won’t kill you at all. As I am being discovered and brought into the light. What you can live through can make you stronger. My Gremlin doesn’t like the light very much just like the ones from the movie! The Evil Book Editor is all but gone as I know good helpful editors and good people. Now he’s just a comic memory that I can laugh about now.
Amanda, It’s good to know that dealing with your gremlins has made you stronger. We all need to get that take in some way. BTW didn’t you say that you have a book about to be published; or was it a short story?
The book I wrote at 16 is a full length book called Neiko’s Five Land Adventure. It is about 101-102K words, and that is out now and was published last Sept by the new publisher. The small piece I wrote for Mark Levine is called Self Promoting and Survival Tips for Newbie Authors, and that’s what will be published later in the year. It would be a small nonfiction book designed to help other authors–mostly new authors like ourselves, and that’s about my discoveries and what I had found out on my own in marketing and I also base it off of survival skills and my knowledge of the outdoors. It is mostly common sense and unconventional methods. It’s about 7-9K words. I also plan to publish the next installment of the saga next year if all goes well.
I’ll have to look for your book. It would be interesting to see what you have written. Good luck in future endeavors.
Oh wow! That’s unexpected. Neiko’s Five Land Adventure is found on its website http://www.neikos5landadventure.net or at Amazon, and a ton of other places in both print and ebook. Self Promoting and Survival Tips for Newbie Authors will be available on http://www.go-publish-yourself.com, http://www.published.com, Amazon and other places too, but “Newbie Authors” is too small to be in print, so it will be just an ebook. Thank you for your interest in me as a person as well as my inner demons and my work even. My pen name is A.K. Taylor
I knew I had an inner critic, which I talk to my students about all the time, but I hadn’t thought of it as a gremlin. That’s exactly right! My inner gremlin is a catty little witch who snaps her gum and rolls her eyes a lot. Sometimes I turn on music to tune her out. I’ve also noticed that when I give a voice to all my self-doubts (speak about them to my husband, for instance), the doubts starts to sound silly or melodramatic. This helps, too. I can’t keep it all inside.
I like the idea of befriending my inner gremlin, but I’ll be sure not to feed him after midnight. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. =) Thanks for this post!
-Miss GOP
Good idea Miss GOP. I wouldn’t feed him after midnight either. God help us if he multiplied. I think I don’t care to feed mine at all. Friend or not, I don’t care to dine with him.
Miss GOP,
Yes! What you point to is part of the power of this work with the gremlin. When you speak or write its concerns, you realize how overblown and unrealistic they are. With that new perspective on the monster, you can consistently bring its grumblings back to scale.
I hope having this specific image of the catty witch helps you to isolate your critic and not surrender to it.
I have to start thinking of my hypercritical gremlin as the part of me that wants to do a good job, to succeed. It’s so crippling at times, that it makes me want to give up on my project. Rough drafts are always tough because they’re rarely good enough, but I have to keep telling myself none are ever shining examples of prose. To find that other writers have gremlins is help in itself.
I haven’t conquered my gremlin, but I’m trying to teach it to come out when I need it–when it’s time to edit and revise. I printed out the gremlin picture above with these words across the top: “It’s not your turn yet; I have to write it first!”
It’s all a mind trick.
Evie,
You are so right – it is a mind trick. I think of it as a mind game, that the real work here is controlling our (negative) thoughts.
Also, I think the more you write, the more confident you become. You get used to those messy first drafts because you know subsequent drafts will be better. You come to accept and love the revision process, where real writing happens.
Glad that you have the gremlin image to keep things in line! Have fun with it, and do try this exercise I offer here.
I love your gremlin analogy! And the visualization exercises, especially thanking the little devil for his “assistance.”
I call mine a cranky old bat – she is definitely female and very snarky!
This hasn’t been getting me anywhere, despite _very_ hard work with it. (And, yes, I ask the questions _exactly_ as they are written.) Of ourse, my inner gremlin reams me out for my lack of progress on this, too.
Kate,
I’m sorry to hear that your gremlin still has you by the throat!
I think the work of writing or creating will always be accompanied by this voice and inner criticism. Part of the job will always be managing those fears and negative thoughts.
You never know what will work to help make writing easier, but one thing that will help is to just keep going. Just keep writing.
How much are you writing? How much are you putting words on paper no matter how bad your gremlin thinks they are?
The more you can do the work, the more evidence you build up against the gremlin that says you can’t do it.
Keep showing up to the page, trying to give more energy to your ideas and the stories you want to write and less credence to the gremlin.
It’s a practice. Keep practicing.
Just. Keep. Writing.
I like the idea of befriending your ghremlin. I have heard it many times before when discussing eating disorders and giving that voice a separate entity apart from the rest of you. I think it is important to disassociate from that inner critic and realize that it is in fact your enemy. I also think that it is iportant for you to allow yourself to think critically of your ghremlin and not let it run your life. Often we give in to our ghremlin and allow it to direct our actions or lack thereof. Even as I am writing this I have turndmycreen off so that I cannot let me ghremlin judge what I have written. I M NOT SURE IF I AGREE WITH BEFRIENDING YOUR GHREMLIN BECAUSE THAT WOULD IMPLY HAVING A POSITIVE, TRUSTFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR INNER CRITI. I HARDLY THINK THAT this relationship is positive and I would not trust my ghremlin. I would agree that it is important to get to know this voice and to accept it as aprt of you because to deny it completely would be useless. Acknowledging it and giving it a name.entity of its own is a way to try to make peace with it and recognize that