Coping with Rejection
Today, Icy Sedgwick shares some simple but effective ways of overcoming that most painful of things for any writer: rejection.
There are few things guaranteed in life, but if you’ve chosen the Way of the Writer, then at some point or other, you’re sure to come across The Rejection. Whether you’re submitting stories to magazines, querying a novel, entering competitions or pitching for freelance work, then sooner or later, you’ll get some form of reply saying “Thanks, but no thanks.” It’s hard, I know, but it’s something every writer goes through. This article is aimed at short story writers, and hopefully it’ll help to take out the sting out of rejection – and help you get back into submitting.

Picture the scene. You’ve spent so much time on your masterpiece that your family have forgotten your name, and you’ve finally released it off into the world. One day, an email/letter arrives. Could it be? You open it… and the excitement falls flat when you find the dreaded rejection slip. Unless you’ve been lucky enough to get a personalised reply with feedback, you may sit there in disbelief, wondering what was wrong with the piece. Sadly, the chances are – you’ll never know.
Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Writer
It’s all too easy to assume that a rejection means you’re a terrible writer. I’ve had rejections and wondered if I should stop writing, and never again darken the Internet with my objectionable prose. This is a silly and quite frankly illogical supposition. Just because one editor or agent doesn’t like your work doesn’t mean no one will. Late last year, I submitted a piece of flash fiction to one magazine to have it rejected, only to submit it elsewhere and have it accepted within twelve hours. The phrase, ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison’, springs to mind. So don’t panic. Maybe you sent the work out before it was ready. Perhaps you need a little longer to hone your craft. It’s also possible that your work wasn’t to the editor’s taste, or maybe they liked it, but it just wasn’t what they were looking for at that time. Sometimes stories are rejected simply because an editor has recently accepted something similar.
The Editor is Not Rejecting YOU
It’s also too easy to assume that the rejection is not of your work, but of you personally. Writers find it difficult to extricate themselves from their work, and sometimes take criticism of their writing as a criticism of themselves as people. It’s hardly surprising, given how much of a person goes into the act of writing. All I can say is try not to take the rejection of your work as a rejection of you – think about how many writers whose work you don’t like. Do you dislike them as people? No, you don’t even know them. It’s the same for editors and agents.
So what should you do when a piece is rejected?
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…
Resist bitching about the title online. Some editors have either their own names or the names of their publications set up as Google Alerts. They may not have told you so, but your piece may have been rejected simply because it wasn’t a good fit for the theme of their next issue, and future work may have stood a better chance. If you badmouth them, you risk blacklisting yourself for good.
Come Back to It Later
Put the story aside for a few days and work on something new. Try switching it up a little – if you normally write in first person, try third. If you normally write in past tense, try present. Come back to your rejected piece with fresh eyes (and the perspective that comes with distance) and give it another read. Can you spot any structural problems? Could your phrasing be tightened up? Have you over-used clichés that could be reworked into something more unique? If you were lucky enough to get feedback, can you see the points the editor is trying to make?

Try and Try Again
Have you got a trusted band of writer friends who can act as beta readers? Two (or more) heads are much better than one, so if they’ve looked over your piece and given you comments, then you might want to try submitting again. After you’ve made a list of possible titles, check their submission guidelines. Are they actually open to submissions? Do they have a preferred formatting style (font/size/line spacing etc.)? Do they accept multiple or simultaneous submissions? Do they have a minimum, or maximum, word count? Have you read other stories published by them? After all, your romantic epic might be perfect as it is, but it’s no good sending it to a science fiction magazine. These guidelines apply to everyone – don’t assume you’re the exception to their rule.
Submit – and Good Luck!
If you’ve done all this, then get submitting again. Just remember that your story is perfect for someone – you just have to find them!
Please share your thoughts and stories of rejection (and triumph!) in the comments section below.
Images courtesy of Sean MacEntee and Ken Gao.


Rejections stink! But…I think that for new writers, in particular, rejections and all those “no thanks” can be hard. Writers need thick skin, and as you mentioned, cannot take it personally. As long as you put forth a strong query, targeted your publication well, sometimes the fit just isn’t right. However, I’ve had my initial query turned down but other assignments given, so you really never know where an editor will take you.
I totally agree about griping publicly. While we can draw support from other writers and friends in online forums, I think some carry it way too far. We have to remember that even in forums, it’s still a professional environment.
Thanks for the advice – Happy Monday!
I think it’s ok to say “I got rejected” to get a little support or encouragement from fellow writers, but they don’t need to know who rejected you! I just got a rejection this morning but I shall endeavour to follow my own advice!
Rejection Happens.
My first film was rejected from every film festival to which is was first submitted. What did I learn from that rejection? Perseverence. Keep at it, keep trying, and use any and all constructive criticism to your advantage.
Rejection is hard. You put a lot of work into that project. Being rejected feels like the end of the world. Like someone telling you that you aren’t good enough. But that’s not what they are saying. They are saying your work doesn’t fit their needs at this time. Remember that.
My first film holds up and has found a small audience. It wasn’t right for film festivals when I first submitted it. It may still not be right for festivals. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t right for home video.
Keep at it, work through the rejection, and success will find you. I have since won awards, gained industry recognition and acquired some large corportate clients. While I may not have been successful at the film festival circuit on that one film, I’m too busy now to care.
Rejection is not the end. It is only the beginning.
I love what you’ve said, Eric. Perfect!!!
Thanks, Laura!
Glad you kept going and didn’t let it keep you down! That’s the kind of success story we need to remember when it doesn’t work out at first.
Thanks Icy.
It hurts to be rejected. It can be hard to accept. It can even be devestating.
The best advice I ever received was to give it time to hurt. Not a lot of time, but the pain is real and needs to exist. Let it hurt for a bit. Then get up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Great article. Thanks for the reminder that it has been too long since I submitted. Funny I never have a problem finding the time to write, but never seem to find time to submit. That changes now…well in a little while :)
Get submitting!! And keep us updated on your progress. It’s always nice to hear how people are getting on.
You’re right of course.
Does it make rejection easier?
No.
Ok, so, maybe a little. But it’s so much more fun to have revenge fantasies play through my happy little head!
Use it as fodder for more stories!
Hear hear! The negative feedback loop between a creative soul and being a sensitive is a cruel one. You’re gonna bruise easily. By age 17 one wall of my bedroom was totally wallpapered by rejection letters from Tharg the Mighty at 2000AD … which I like to think worked something like a vaccination.
That sounds like a great way to “vaccinate” yourself to the painful experience of getting a rejection. Stephen King used to stick his rejection slips on a nail in the wall. Every one shows the progress that you make to getting something accepted!
Hey, Stephanie Meyers had Twilight rejected by sixteen agents before someone finally took it on!
I am on both sides of this – I’m a writer, and as well, I am a publishing editor of Rose & Thorn (an online journal/mag). And as a PE, I will tell you that what you said is true– sometimes we have to reject writers because:
–we just accepted a piece that is similar in story/tone/voice/beginning/ending/character
–we only have so much space and sometimes it is with great disappointment that we have to reject a piece that we love.
–the writer doesn’t follow guidelines (but we always try to email them and let them know this so they have the chance to resubmit).
Those are just a few reasons why that have nothing to do with the writing itself! If we send the writer a personal message – we really do mean it — if we say “we’d love to see more of your work” -we really do mean it.
Sending rejections is the suckiest thing ever for us, especially because we are writers and have experienced it. Every rejection sent is like a kick in the gut.
But, for an example – we rejected a story that didn’t quite work for us but we recognized the gift of the writer, so we asked her to send us something else next go round. She did, and that story was selected for publication. Does this always happen? No, but in this case it did. Soooo . . .
Excellent post! Thank you for letting us see the other side of rejection!
It’s very reassuring to hear that is sucks from your end too :)
Yeah, we writers often forget how horrible it must be for the editors as well! That magic sentence “Please think of us in future” often softens the blow though. I’ve had editors say that to me and while they’ve rejected one piece, I’ve then sent them something else and they’ve taken it.
I was at my writers’ group last night and my dear friend Paula told me about the 100 Rejections Club she once belonged to. Their theory was that you couldn’t call yourself a ‘real writer’ until you’d amassed 100 rejections. People would e-mail each other back and forth and say, “Woo hoo! Rejection #41!” And everybody would cheer. Of course, as everyone worked to improve their writing and send out more and more queries, eventually everyone had work published. And their friends would say, “Wow! You got accepted after only 60 rejections!”
The ‘club’ helped ease the pain of rejection; it also produced the courage for acceptance.
That’s an awesome idea! It’s great to have friends to support you, especially in making lemonade out of those lemons!
Wonderful article, Icy! I have a big problem dealing with rejection. That’s probably why I haven’t submitted much in the past few months. I’m sure I’ll work that out, soon, though. :)
I loved the article! You are right they do not reject you just the work and for reasons that often have nothing to do with its quality. I have been rejected more often than I care to count, lets just say that if i printed all the rejections I could kill a small forest. The nice part is that there are always options for the future and you are right, “don’t badmouth them.” I have recently had a piece accepted that has multiple rejections attached to it. Each time it was rejected i left it sit for a week and went back to it then resubmitted. It works so to all of you, Keep At It!