Finding the Time to Write
So how do writers do it? How do we find time to write what we want and still have a normal life? (Whatever that means..) I, for one, have found it rather difficult of late. Between editing and my freelance work plus being a single mom, it’s hard to fit in any writing I actually want to do just for ME. I haven’t worked on my novel in over six months due to daily demands.
I used to stay up late and write since that’s when my best material comes out, anyway. But how can I do that when I need to be up to get my daughter to school and interact with the rest of the world when they are awake? I did set up some sort of schedule, which includes taking my daughter to a friend’s house for daycare one day a week, but that day usually gets filled with article writing and slacking off because it’s my only time to myself. And I do have time at night when she is asleep, but that’s the time I use to see my friends and family. I used to write constantly – a few thousand words a day even. For some reason I can’t remember how exactly I did that. I want to finish my novel. I want to write more flash fiction. I want to write just to write…just for the cathartic value. But how?
How do you all do it??? Any suggestions would be more than useful to me and, I’m sure, many of our readers…so feel free to throw anything and everything out there. We writers need all the help we can get to find time to write – to do what it is we love!
Since winning her first writing competition, Eden Tyler, has only fallen more in love with the written word. She uses her English and Psychology backgrounds to create depth to her stories while contributing to and running websites about writing. This is what fulfills her, along with working as Co-Editor for FYW, but she also enjoys the freelance work that puts food on the table (and that ever-essential roof overhead) for her family.
Background: married, two kids (1 and 3), my wife works full-time and I work part-time (lab / bartending) and watch the kids three days per week – then I find time to write. I picked up an ultralight laptop (13 in screen) and carry it around with me. If the kids are quiet I can usually do some research on posts and jot down notes. Most of my writing is done somewhere between 8 and 12PM when everyone is asleep and things are quiet.
You have to prioritize. Decide what’s important. Wake up a half hour early or stay up a half hour later. Give up a TV show or some other hobby. We all make ourselves go to work ’cause we need to get paid to keep a roof over our heads. Think of writing as paying yourself. If a person can’t find the time, they probably don’t really have the passion. Writing is like oxygen. Imagine if, when your body sent the signals that you had to pee, you ignored it and just kept on doing whatever activity had you distracted. You would end up with a pretty bad infection that could eventually kill you. So think of writing like a necessity. If you don’t write, you could die. Writing is like having to pee.
haha! I like that :)
I have a 5 year-old and a four-and-a-half-month old so you can imagine how difficult it is to find time to write! I am also working on a novel and enjoy flash fiction, as well as poetry, and do my best writing at night. When my daughter (the 5 year-old) was born I had to augment my writing schedule to include feedings and changings but it was still not too bad to steal away an hour or two if we stuck to a bed time. With the addition of my son I have found more hurdles than I can ever remember! My only advice, and something I have only started doing in the last month or so, is carry a book in your pocket (or in your case, purse) so you can write when life lets you.
Being a parent is the best thing that has ever happened to me…just maybe not my writing! ;u)
~ Bob Skrezyna
A couple of months ago, a women who’d spent thirty years running her own business (not in writing, I should add!) said that when you’re working for yourself, you have to make sacrifices in order to fit everything in, and in her opinion that was to cut out time with friends! Her theory was that you should be saving money that you’d spending socialising with friends for more important things, to her, apparently, friends are expendable!!!
But personally I thought her view was a little primitive, because “socialising” doesn’t necessarily mean great expense, and it also keeps us sane!
But, I’m exactly the same as you, I haven’t done any work on my novel in…I can’t even remember how long, because my life is all doing freelance work, and making sure I spend enough time with my mum and nana! So, I too would love to hear exactly how people do it.
I have the same issue, and I have tested various methods, but so far I haven’t found one that I think is perfect. I work 100%, my wife works 100%, and we have to kids (6 and 4 years old). It’s very hard to find the time to write. I usually get up between 5 and 5.30 am and try to get some writing done before my family wakes up about an hour later.
I also try to get some writing done while the kids are watching TV, apx. at 6 pm. But I usually can’t find the time to write for more than 1 hour.
It’s a very interesting question, and would love to get some new tips.
I find it so ironic that you would post this today, just after my husband and I, um…argued about my writing time last night. I have a full-time job, two kids, (11 and 12), one with autism, and I have fibromyalgia. Somehow I manage to keep up three different blogs – one about our life in general, one for my recipes, and one for my flash fiction. I usually do that writing during my lunch hour and early on weekend mornings. If I have an idea in the middle of a workday I jot it down so it doesn’t get lost.
Recently I met one of my all-time favorite authors. I told her that I’m a writer and that a writing friend was encouraging me to write a novel. She said “do it”, but with a room packed full of her fans I’m sure she would’ve said the same thing to anyone else. Then, two weeks later, she sent me an email to tell me she’d been reading my work, that I’ve “got the goods”, and practically demanded I send a synopsis and queries to every agent I could find, and even gave me her own agent’s address. Yes, I was floored. That was all the push I needed to start writing the novel. But I have so little time, due to that day job and family, that I’m going very slow with the novel.
Last weekend my husband took the kids out so I could focus on the novel. I was satisfied, if not thrilled, that I did get one and a half chapters written. Since he (hubby) had been so generous I thought I’d try my luck again and ask if I could go somewhere remote next weekend to work on the novel. Yes, he said he’d give me the time I need, but no, I couldn’t spend the $300 to rent a cabin, I would have to do my writing at home. Then he asked how far I’d gotten. I told him I’d written that one and a half chapters and he said, “But you told me that last weekend.” Exactly!
Only writers can understand why it takes so long, and why we need complete peace to work on something as grand as a novel. There’s no way my husband could understand why it’s difficult for me to write while at home, so I didn’t even try to explain. But you all know how it is. You’re at home, sitting at your computer and trying to summon the muse when all of a sudden you see cat hair on the floor and start wondering how long it would take to just get up and vacuum, then you start thinking “well if I’m going to vacuum I may as well dust too”, and on and on and on.
Whew! I didn’t intend for my reply to be so long – could’ve been working on that novel! I wonder if any of you feel this same way, that it’s difficult to write from home, that you feel so much more free to create when you’re away from all the demands of everyday life. I can’t imagine there are many, if any at all, writers who DON’T feel that way. I hope this post brings about some great ideas, and thank you for it Eden!
Oh yeah… If I had an office or somewhere to actually go and write, my jobs would be so much easier — I’d get my work done quickly — and then I’d have time to write what I want. As it stands, I’m the same as you. I find any and everything I can do not to write. Not because I don’t love it and don’t want to, but because I feel like laundry and other things NEED to get done. Like they’re more important…
I have fibromyalgia, as well, along with lupus, so it’s even more difficult than just having my kid and my jobs. I don’t have the energy. It’s so hard to say I’ll stay up an extra half an hour or hour to write because if I do I end up paying for it the next day. I need NINE hours a night to feel somewhat rested, so it’s crazy trying to fit it all in. The thing is that I used to be able to and I don’t quite remember how!!! (Although I do remember getting in a lot of arguments with my boyfriend about not spending enough time with him or not having dinner ready, etc… haha!)
It’s interesting how many people seem to have this problem since I have so many friends who are constantly writing along with having *regular* jobs families…. Hmmm..
Hello Eden. I am struggling with the same dilemma. My daughter is 2 1/2 and I work full time outside of the home. Finding time to write is very difficult. Being a parent is amazing, but it is necessary to secure that balance between the needs of your family and your own personal joys, is very important. Outside of being a parent, list your top 10 favourite things to do. Really look at the list, then amend it to your top 5. Once you reach your top three things that bring you personal joy..i.e. writing short stories, watching tv, going to the movies, reading War and Peace
Set aside 10 mins each day for one of your top three. That’s it. 10 mins. When you take the pressure off yourself, you will find that extra time, which has been evading you.
Great post.
Good advice! I’ll definitely have to try that. Just start out small….
And thanks :)
The harderst thing about living in this day and age is setting limits. (And I am preaching to my own choir as I write this.) There are so many responsibilities, so many demands on our time, so many “things” we have to do that there seems to be little or no time to do the things we need to do for ourselves. But why the heck not?
This is also an age of convenience. Microwave meals, Fast Food, TiVo, filters to sort our emails… Life moves pretty fast beacuse of these conveniences, and we also are trying to cram more things into a day.There needs to be less in a day, fewer priorities, and fewer of these “things” that clutter our lives. Less can indeed be more.
Facebook and Twitter are great at keeping us connected. But, like email, they don’t need to be checked every 2 seconds. Such applications are there for our convenience, not us for their’s. Friends understand when we prioritize the things that are important to us, and barring an emergency, if they don’t understand then they aren’t really our friends (learned that the hard way). What are we really missing out on by not checking Facebook today?
Think about your life 30 years from now. What do you want to have accomplished? What are you going to regret not having done? Are you going to regret not writing your novel, your screenplay? Are you going to be fulfilled 30 years from now or are you wondering why you were so stressed and couldn’t find the time to do X, Y, or Z? Time is our most valuable asset. How we spend it makes up our life and tells our story.
I am as busy and stressed out as the next guy. I am a frustrated writer myself who can’t find the time to sit down and create for fun. But Deanna’s author-friend, much like Nike’s famous slogan, has a great point, and advice that I should heed as well: Do It! If you want to be a writer then write. If you want to be an artist then draw. If you want to be a musician then play. Whatever you want to do, do it. If not now, then when? 30 years from now? How many years have already slipped away trying to find the time?
Time is the last great resource. No one is making any more of it. You have 24 hours a day, and that’s it. And I hate that! I often wish I could function without sleep. Imagine how much I would get done!
At the moment, I don’t have kids, and I have a fifty minute train commute to work. So I am more fortunate than most, but this is still hard! On the train ride to work, I work. But the time going back is mine, and I try to write then. I also get up at 7 on a Saturday and try to get two hours in then before the wife gets up. I write fiction and my writing blog in that time.
In truth, I haven’t really mastered that yet even! My Saturday’s normally end up being half an hour to an hour, and I can’t say that I write on the train every day. Still, I am keeping a record of how much I write per week, and I can see the figures going up each month. That’s very encouraging, so even though I know I’m not doing lots of writing I can see myself getting better.
Discipline on anything is rarely won in one hit. I’m building it up and watching the benefits.