Rejection: Kiss It, Don’t Diss It!

“Your application to be an article writer for XYZ Company has been denied for ONE of the following 12 reasons. Please feel free to reapply if your status has changed.”

Thanks guys. Was it because of a lack of experience? Was it because I don’t have a certain expertise you were looking for? How am I supposed to know if my status has changed for the better if I don’t know what status I’m lacking?

And so it goes. The “R” word. A bitter pill writers have to deal with at some point in their careers. If you haven’t, please contact us right away because we’d love to have you on the Fuel Your Writing team! ;-)

So how do you deal with rejection? Maybe you grab a vat of ice cream and a shovel-of-a-spoon and put a comedy into the DVD player. Or maybe you are OK with it, take it with a grain of salt and file it under “Learning Experience.” If you have a method, here are a few more to consider. If not, well, here are some coping mechanisms to stock up on for that rainy day.

Talk to other writers.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprise at the number of writers who are embarrassed and just want to hide that rejection and forget it ever happened. Don’t! For one, there are probably other writers out there who have been rejected from this same place. Maybe they know something about rejection rates that you don’t. My rejection letter from the top of this piece? I later found out this particular company accepts only about 20% of applications. So I’m in the same boat as 80% of writers who applied there as well. I don’t feel so alone now.

Don’t let it affect your self-esteem.

A rejection letter doesn’t mean you’re a horrible writer. Chances are you’re the perfect writer for another place…one that you may have not found just yet. Maybe you’re a fantastic gardener or baker and everyone knows it. Jumping into an activity you KNOW you’re good at and that you’re recognized as being good at will not only give you a self-esteem boost, but it will work wonders on getting your mind off of it.

Be proactive: Embrace the rejection demon.

Weird, huh? Some may think of it as “sealing your own fate” or “if you wish it, it will come” or any other of those “don’t-tempt-the-universe” quips.

I used to be terrified of deep water. Especially the type where you KNEW there were living things swimming beneath you, but you couldn’t see them. So you know what I did? I swam with some sharks in water that was about 80 feet deep. The water where I was is something out of a dream…an unimaginable turquoise so clear it’s like newly Windexed glass. But I could only see about 8 feet below me and was on the verge of hyperventilating (the proof is in the underwater video I shot where you can hear my frantic breathing.) But then I stopped freaking out and realized IT WASN’T SO BAD. I not only survived, I got out of the water knowing that I’d have no trouble getting back in.

Admit to yourself that rejection is going to sting and stink and that it will probably put you into a funk for a little bit. When it happens, you won’t be so afraid of its effects and over time you will be more comfortable with it.

Lighten up!

I have a dear friend who sends in her poems to contest after contest and anthology after anthology. She gets rejected from said contests and anthologies on a regular basis. Do you know what she does with those letters and emails? She keeps a scrapbook of them and decorates it with funny sayings and wacky stickers. And she has FUN doing it. The scrapbook serves as a reminder to her that she’s still pursuing her dream and acts as motivation to keep going because she knows in her heart that her time will come.

Maybe you have tried-and-true secrets to keep picking up that pen and typing on that keyboard. Care to share to help the rest of us?