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Maybe NOW they will pay attention to me again.
Pleading for a pardon on unwashable hands and knees, with bloody mouth surrounding the barrel of my shotgun, daddy no longer enjoyed the sadistic roll-over-and-play-dead game he trained our dog Buster to perform ON me as an infant.
Bruno the Dog: What baby…..??
The doctors told us that nurse-fed babies are healthier, happier babies – but it doesn’t seem to be working.
I will haz cheeseburger or I no move!
Camera!
Times were hard which is why my parents had to let the wet nurse go. It was either her or the dog and I never forgave them. Ever.
Mom told you to stay on the blanket, damn it. Now stay here until she gets back!
Man, they told me I bite more than I can chew, but this black thing is really tasty…one bite at a time.
This isn’t what it looks like…okay it is.