Writers: Are You Destroying Yourself with Negativity?
In the past few months, I’ve seen a few things in the writing blogosphere that have disturbed me: writers nitpicking, complaining, and acting like they have a sense of entitlement.
Some of these behaviours include:
- Being paranoid that other writers, agents, or acquiring editors will steal your ideas
- Claiming writing contests or promotions aren’t fair
- Complaining that the query system doesn’t work
- Expressing concern that agents and editors just don’t ‘get’ one’s writing because it’s above their intellect
- Leaving deliberately abrasive comments on people’s blogs to spark debate
- Badmouthing literary agents who don’t necessarily work the way the writer would like them to
- Giving excessively harsh critiques that aren’t at all helpful
- Saying that other writers’ books should never have been published because they’re not as good as one’s unpublished writing
Getting published is difficult, so it’s sometimes tempting for the unpublished among us to cry, “The system isn’t fair!” or “It’s all about who you know.” Perhaps the system isn’t always fair, and yes, it doesn’t hurt to know someone who can recommend your work to a literary agent or an editor.
But…
Most things in life aren’t fair.
(Sorry. Your mother was right.)
While most of us do our best to build each other up, others insist on destroying morale with their negativity.
The problem is, they’re only destroying themselves and their own opportunities for success. Before these grumblers actually have time to write something publishable, they’ll be disillusioned with the entire process and, most likely, give up.
Why do you think writers sometimes behave this way? Is it to make ourselves feel better? Is it about jealousy? Frustration? Ego?
Perhaps you find yourself caught in a cycle of negativity about the world of writing and publishing. If so, take a moment to remember:
- All published writers were once unpublished like you, and most of them got contracts the old-fashioned way–by querying an agent.
- If, after due persistence, you can’t find an agent who ‘gets’ your work, the problem most likely lies with your manuscript. Focus some of that energy into finding out how to write better.
- You’re entitled to your opinion, but there’s no need to be abrasive about it.
- Criticism is meant to be constructive. Empower another writer by helping them see what areas of their work they can improve, but be nice about it.
- Just because you don’t care for a certain author’s work doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have been published. Everyone has different tastes.
What things drive you crazy in the writing community? What defeatist attitudes or behaviours bother you most?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Most of you are amazing. We’re all grateful for the wonderful community of writers here at Fuel.
Let’s help spread the support to our fellow writers. This week, try thanking someone who’s made a difference to your writing. Encourage a struggling newcomer to the craft. Help someone polish their query. Leave a helpful comment on someone else’s blog.
Let’s do our best to make each another’s journey that little bit easier, that bit more enjoyable.
Images courtesy of B Rosen and Sasha W.
Suzannah Windsor Freeman writes and teaches in Canada and Australia (but never at the same time). Pop over to Write It Sideways for more great writing tips, or follow her on Twitter.
I love the idea of making a point of thanking someone else who’s been an asset. In fact, the idea so much that I’m going to steal it from you (with attribution, of course, lol).
Now, with that idea in mind, I’m off to write a new blog post.
Oh, and you’re right. People do whine a little too often, life is inevitably unfair, and we do ourselves a tremendous favor when we remember to focus on the good instead of spending our time dwelling on the negative.
Forrest Gump’s mama said something about chocolate boxes. My mama had an even better saying: “Get off the cross, son. The rest of us could use the wood!”
Steal away, Carson! Forrest Gump’s mama definitely had a few good pieces of wisdom to share ;)
Thank you. I, too, have noticed this trend toward the negative. It’s nice that you are addressing it head-on.
However, I am not attemtping to make the point that all posts and comments need to be upbeat, positive and full of sunshine. Positive criticism has its place, too. Personally, when I get useful feedback, especially the negative, it helps me grow. I am all for giving constructive criticism to help a fellow artist, as I hope they can be honest with me as well.
I am not the best writer out there. I know my video editing can be improved. The graphics I create are not nearly what others online can do. But I can learn from their feedback. So what if I don’t win a contest or get a publishing contract? “Tomorrow the sun will rise,” and I will be better off for having had the experience, and for the feedback of those who helped me reach my goal.
Hi Eric,
I agree, not all posts and comments need to be full of sunshine. It’s just annoying when people can only see the negative things about writing and publishing. It makes me wonder why they bother writing at all if they think it’s so unfair!
Best to try to look on the bright side now and again :)
I can relate to this if you think negative then it will not do good to you..Whatever you do you will always be a loser..Negative thinking attracts negative energy So, its not good for you!
camp fire
Interesting post.
I have removed bloggers from my follow list. They are folks who have been whinging for over a month or more on their blogs. I cannot be doing with people who fight rejection and slate agents in public.
I try and be as upbeat and cheerful as I can. This novel writing journey is something I want to do. I have to accept those who know the trade, are the ones who know best.
My life has changed, thanks to positive thinking. My counsellor taught me after my breakdown, to turn all negatives into positives. It works, even for the little things.
So, I will finish my novel. :)